My daily struggle with depression and negative mind-churn is going pretty well. However, I'm still struggling with being productive and moving forward in my goals - particularly my long-term goals.
I still get quite annoyed when I ponder how far I am from my goals of normal function and productivity, so I try not to focus too much on that aspect of my progress - it's frustrating and can lead to me shutting down. I work very hard on my daily milestones and successes instead.
The bottom line: My daily attitude and progress are healthy, but I lack a functional methodology to address my long-terms goals and needs.
As my long-term goals are ignored (or stagnate) I am increasingly frustrated and antsy. Mild forms of escapism are the bio-psycho-social result. I've worked
very hard to get away from past extremes and keep my escapist-jaunts to low-impact and short-term-duration activities, but the decreasing frequency of non-productive events has plateaued. Where I was seeing constant improvement I now see a new pattern emerging and it's not where I want to be. I don't feel like I'm starving for productivity anymore, but I'm merely subsisting - not feasting.
I have a couple of new tools to that I'm in the middle of trying. (Future memory visualization and CEO-level focus mapping.) I'll be applying these new tools in the next little bit and see how it helps - I'm leery of making huge changes for fear of relapsing into destructive habits, but I'm moving as fast as I can!
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